:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Friday, October 22, 2004 ::

it's prom night all over again

As you might not have known, I am still drunk. Buzzed rather. And so I'm hoping this all gels together somehow. So let's begin...

I am sitting here still buzzing from the six bottles of beer I knocked back over dinner and poker tonight. It was supposed to be a friendly game with only an initial $10 buy-in, but it never stays at just $10. People always end up rebuying in. Anyway, I ended up being the big winner tonight with a $70 profit. The only other person who even came up positive was the one friend I invited, and he came up just $5. All this while I was intoxicated half the night. Lord? Why do you curse me with so much God-given talent?

Today I was asked at the last minute to be someone's date for their med school formal, which takes place tomorrow night. Being both flattered and cheap, I actually made her confirm that she would be paying for my ticket. Because looks this good don't come for free, m'man. I know, I know. Again, cursed with the God-given gifts.

I am not interested in this girl (which would explain my reluctance to pay $30 to hang out with her), but have enjoyed hanging out with her and her friends in her $2300/month apartment with a view that overlooks the entire city. I've also rather enjoyed her plasma screen tv and the fact that they serve me beer and feed me food whenever I'm invited over.

Am I taking advantage of them? Perhaps. Are these all a part of the perks of befriending rich people? Definitely.

I haven't been to any sort of formal since my sophomore year of college. That was back when I was dating e and she asked me to the KACF banquet to celebrate Jesus or some shit. Before that, it was my high school senior year prom, which brings back a lot of hilarious memories: memories like my date actually paying to get her hair did like Marge Simpson (no joke), us guys collaborating together at a pre-party, where everyone's parents were present, and designating one bold sucker to address two of our friends who had been dating, and had not been gun-shy about public displays of affection, that the limo was to be a "hands-off" limo, which immediately resulted in our poor friend Heather breaking down and crying, runny make-up and all, in front of everyone.

Looking back, we basically ruined her prom night and embarrassed her in front of everyone. Actually, Travis ruined her prom night and embarrassed her in front of everyone. Hahaha. Ahh... such fond memories.

All I can remember about prom was that we ultimatley regretted dropping mad cash for the experience, just so the one friend who actually had a chance of getting laid could impress his date - the only one that was even remotely attractive (and didn't have a Marge Simpson 'do).

But it's prom night all over again as I let my classiness (guilt, rather) get the best of me. I ended up offering to pay for my ticket, and of course, I had to play it off like I was going to pay for it all along. But as long as I'm here, I might as well be fucking honest: if I hadn't taken that $70 tonight from everyone at the apartment - the very apartment of the girl who asked me to be her date, I probably wouldn't be writing this and I probably would keep my infamous cheapness on the down-low. So if you think about it, I'm basically paying for my ticket with her own money.

Damn this God-given talent.

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