:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Wednesday, September 15, 2004 ::

sick.

I had a pretty vivid dream last night. It took place in a cabin in the woods and involved me trying to sneak away from a group of co-ed friends to take a shit in peace. You may be wondering why I had to sneak away. Well, the answer is that I can't take a shit while there's other people around - be it someone in the stall next to mine, or any other presence in the bathroom. This goes double for when there's a unisex bathroom.

So while everyone was playing outside, I managed to sneak away undetected back inside the cabin, only to find that there was no toilet paper in the boys bathroom. I tip-toed to the girls' bathroom on the other side of the cabin, and just as I sat down, I heard someone come inside.

Feeling further embarassed by the fact that I was trying to pinch a loaf in the girls' bathroom, I put my pants back on and snuck a roll under my shirt to take back to the guys' bathroom once the coast was clear. Hiding in the aforementioned bathroom, I waited and waited... and waited, but the girls wouldn't leave! And that's when I woke up, deprived of a much-needed bowell movement.

I squinted at my alarm clock, it read "6:57 AM", and I immediately realized I had to take a fat shit and that there wasn't a second to lose. Afterwards, I lied in bed wondering what would have happened had I let the turtle's head peek out in my dream. Would I have shat myself silly in real life? It's liken to that urban legend where if you die in your sleep, you die in real life. Could this really happen? Because, although it sounds absurd, I have heard of people peeing in their dreams only to awaken to a urine-drenched mattress.

Funny how your body and subconscience work together in mysterious ways. Especially when it comes to preventing bed-shitting.

* I've been feeling like shit all day. I think I'm coming down with something. Sore muscles, sore back, headache... Even my hair hurts.

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