:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Tuesday, August 17, 2004 ::

the radiohead chronicles: part 1

I sat down with pen in hand and iPod in ear. The results are for your reading [dis]pleasure.

*the following admissions are best absorbed while simultaneously listening to their accompanying title tracks.

Planet Telex

Everything is...
Everyone is...

Sometimes it can feel as though everything is broken. Job, love, family, friends - all dysfunctional. Nothing works. It makes me want to bang the side of them like a television set on the fritz in the hopes of restoring some clarity to the picture. And if I can't fix it, I just feel like sulking in my room while longing for something strong to make it all go away. To make everyone and everything go *POOF*.

Silence.

Ahh... what a beautiful melody. But why can't I forget.


Just

I do it to myself... yes, i dooo...

Last night I had a phone conversation with a friend and we discussed why it is we no longer keep in touch with people who were once friends. And the answer we arrived at seems two-fold: because people change and afterwards we push them away. And as I sat there wondering whatever happened to so-and-so and how a part of me misses them, I understand I deserve no sympathy because I do it to myselllf, yes I dooo. Me and no one else.

And that's what makes it worse. And that's what really hurts.


No Surprises

The 3-year relationship during college came to an abrupt conclusion with the surprise of my life - my girlfriend began dating an acquaintance/friend of ours immediately after us 'taking time apart'. They went on to date for the next 4 years from what I'd heard. Surprises like this I can do without.

But then there are the 3 years I worked as a corporate drone, essentially living in an 8x8 cubicle with no windows. Every day felt trapped, pointless, and insignificant. And without any wrenches thrown into the machinery there was nothing to break up the coma-inducing monotony of a daily routine. I wanted something sudden and unexpected to shake up my world; to rescue me from Unpleasantville, U.S.A. And that's when I'd finally decided I'd had enough and dusted my plans for law school off the shelf. Surprises like this are good for the soul.

And as most of you know by now how miserable the law school experience has been to date, it's liken to being back in that 8x8 cage with no windows, day-dreaming for someone or something - anything- to come shake up my life again.

It's funny, as much as I hope the next serious relationship I'm in is surprise and drama-free, without an occasional stirring of the waters, I wonder if I can be content with a passionless love. Then again, it beats sustaining bruises that never quite heal.

...