:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Monday, June 07, 2004 ::

surgeon general's warning:

being a loner can be hazardous to your health.

I prefer to be alone nowadays, often shunning human interaction in favor of downloading music or surfing the web. On the surface, it could seem believable that merely money, or lack thereof, is the reason for my self-inflicted solitude that feels comparable in length to that which Gabriel Garcia Marquez wrote of. Weeks ago I had the not-so-stunning revelation that my life is basically a microcosm of the unemployment population at large, but with one major difference: they get weekly unemployment checks; I get the leftover ketchup packets from my meals at McDonald's.

The fact of the matter is, my life has been void of purpose lately. I wake up just barely before the letter 'A' turns to 'P' on my cd/alarm clock, which, like one-half of a co-dependent relationship, is always followed by its clingy counterpart, 'M' . And the only compelling reason to even get out of bed is to catch what happens next on Dawson's Creek - yes, the teeny bopper program on 1 of the 2 TV stations I can actually get in my apartment since I don't pay for cable television.

Upon digging deeper, however, one might discover a few other factors at work here, besides poverty, to explain this recent trend in anti-social behavior. Here is this Asian-American twenty-something, whose parents still eat kimchee with their Thanksgiving turkey, and who was transplanted from the ethnically diverse city of Los Angeles to a small town that seriously could have been the backdrop to The Dukes of Hazzard. Blending in with all the Cooters, Cletuses and other country hick names you can think of was difficult for the sole asian kid in a 50-mile radius. But with time, he learned to ride ATVs, drive stick-shift trucks, snowboard and surf with the best of his honky friends. Assimilation became his life's work.





Fast-forward X years later and now you have this kid who's turned into a 'man' (i use that term loosely) within what seems a blink of an eye. Since he didn't take up the prototypical hobbies that typical asians do in large American cities (i.e. fixing up their rice-rockets, shooting pool, listening to solely hip-hop/r&b), he's now realizing he has very little in common with all the other little yellow-skinned boys and girls who've grown up to become big yellow-skinned boys and girls. Just when he had gotten assimilated to the way of the white man, fate turns around and sticks his ass in the midst of what has mostly become an entourage of asian friends out in the Big Apple.

He's quickly learning that he has only so much in common with the Maos, Kim Jung Ils, and Mr. Robotos of the East Coast; at least the ones who have grown up in cultural solitude from the rest of society. He constantly craves to meet more open-minded and interesting people. Unfortunately, it seems that the Big Apple is not home to many non-conformist asian chicks and dudes who aren't simply carbon copies of one another (and Banana Republic mannequins). Further complicating matters is the fact that asians in NYC don't seem to be fully accepted/embraced by non-asian cliques. New York City is surprisingly segregated, as opined by this 2-year transplant and his experience thus far. Of course, there are the anomolies (i.e. Me), but in general, Asian-Americans kick it with other Asian-Americans, Indian-Americans with other Indians, African-Americans with other brothas and sistas, and other 'hyphens' with other 'hyphens'. And don't forget the gay community with whatever hot new eurotrash DJ is holding it down in Chelsea or JAP(Jewish-American Princess)fag-hag of the week. [wow, that sounded like it could have been straight outa 25th Hour.]

Maybe everyone's just trying to get in where they fit in. Maybe it's natural to gravitate towards people who you believe can understand where it is you came from. But what about those fucked up and confused people, like yours truly, that don't fall into some blog-created typecast of how certain ethnicities are? What are WE to do? Life, perhaps, may have been easier if the world never gave birth to hyphens like me.

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