:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Saturday, April 24, 2004 ::

plugged into the matrix

Elliot Smith. Modest Mouse. Kanye West. Belle & Sebastian.

These are the only voices I've heard in the past few days. Ever since I ordered high speed internet access at home, my life has become terribly simplified. Instead of walking several blocks to a starbucks for wireless access, I now just roll out of bed and push a shiny gray button. Ahh... I'm connected.

The Internet. What a wonderful/terrible thing to happen to society. Wonderful because it's revolutionized communication. Terrible because the cost is face-to-face interaction. Instead of stepping out into the world every morning, I now double-click into the world and through a 14-inch LCD screen, stimulate my neurons.

It's not as bleak as it sounds, though. Over the years, we've been able to listen to outrageously priced music for free, play chess with someone living on the other side of the Earth, and acquire hard-to-find circus porn. We've literally had the world at our fingertips. But it's all come at a hefty price: reduced productivity, among other things. If only Al Gore invented the Internet after I finished school. I'm sure many of you can relate. Instead of studying, we spend hours upon hours inside some amorphous concept named cyberspace.

Sure it's simplified our lives. We can chat online with our friends through AIM, conveniently look up movie times or find driving directions to an ultimate destination. But do the benefits outweigh the costs? I'm not so sure.

_______________

the overdue porno story

On the walk home from watching Kill Bill, Vol. 2 last night, I called my mom to say hi. After exchanging the typical how-do-you-dos, my mom hits me with one of her famous laughs and the following is an account of what transpired next:

MOM: You know, I received a weird phone call tonight.
ME: ?
MOM: Someone from Blockbuster Video said a video rented under
your dad's name has been overdue for the past month, and
that we owe $200!
ME: WHAT?! But you and dad never rent videos!
MOM: Even stranger is that the title was some adult porno.
ME: WHAT?! [uncomfortable laughter.]
MOM: Did YOU rent something like that?! You were here to visit around
that time.
ME: What!? [uncomfortable laughter.]
MOM: Well, I think it might have been a crank call. I did hear
laughter in the background, and when pressed for more
information, they hung up.
MOM: But it wasn't YOU, right?
ME: WHAT?!

True story. I didn't rent any pornos, however, three really funny things came out of this exchange:

1. It's always a highly awkward situation to have your mom asking you if you rented All Tit-Fucking, Vol. 5. Hah, good times!

2. What I didn't tell you was that my mom cussed out the prankster at the end of the call. Imagine listening to a fobby asian woman cursing you out in bad engrish.

3. My mom asked if I knew what a porno was. *shudder*

...