:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Wednesday, March 24, 2004 ::

soul to squeeze

Just finished watching a classic Simpsons episode, where Homer has only one day left to live. He spends his last day listening to Lisa play the sax, records a video for Maggie, goes fishing and plays catch with his father, has a final drink with his friends at Moe's, and is intimate with Marge. [Among the other things Homer wanted to do but didn't have time to were: Tell off his boss, go hangliding, and plant a tree.]

After Marge falls asleep, Homer sneaks downstairs and falls asleep while listening to the Bible on tape, as read by Larry King, in front of a window looking out into the night. When morning comes, Marge realizes Homer's drool is still warm and implores him to wake up. When Homer realizes he's alive, he vows from that day forward he'll live his life to the fullest.

The very next day, Homer is seen sitting on the couch eating Pork Rinds Light while watching bowling on TV.

If I had one day left to live, here's how I think I'd spend it:

1. Watch the sun rise over the desert valley.

2. Have a talk with my sister over breakfast about how proud I am
of her and that I'll be watching over her, always.

3. Go skydiving and hangliding

4. Have lunch with my closest friends at the top of a mountain and
thank them for the gift of friendship, all the fond memories
created over the years, and for accepting me despite my
shortcomings. I'd let them know how proud I was of them and
perhaps leave them with a reminder that they have the
opportunity to truly make the most of the time they have left to
do everything it is they ever dreamed of. I'd reassure them to
not be afraid to fail. Then I'd sneak off alone to admire the
nature that God created. I'd try to calm my fears by soaking in
the serenity emanating from the trees, the animals, the sun, and
the crisp mountain air while being humbled at the realization of
my small place in this world alongside the rest of God's creations.

5. I'd hit up a bling-bling boutique and max out my credit card to
buy my mom an extravagant dress. She's a thrifty shopper and
would feel guilty if she ever bought anything too lavish,
since she's always been the family budgeteer. I remember her
having to go to her nephew's wedding in Hawaii a few years back
and feeling ashamed that she didn't have anything to wear.
She hadn't bought a dress in over twenty years. Everything
formal in her closet was from the eighties. I swore that the first
thing I'd buy her, once I had enough money, was a beautiful
dress. One that she could be proud to wear.

6. Sit my father down and talk to him. Truly talk to him about
everything (which would require me to duct tape his mouth). All
my adventures; all my dreams. I'd leave no stone unturned. I'd
let him know that I understood why he was never around when
we were growing up, although at the time I hated him for it. I
never had a father to throw a baseball around with, to talk with
about girls, learn how to shave or how to properly tie a tie, and
all those other coming-of-age things you're supposed to learn
from a father. But what I did have was a father who loved me
very much. I guess deep down inside I've always known that.
And that was better than a person to play catch with. I would
tell him that I loved him. And that I would always be proud to
call him my old man.

7. I'd watch the sunset beyond the Pacific Ocean from The Cliffs in
San Diego. Then make my peace with God. And myself.

8. I'd have dinner with my family at home, just like any other night,
except on this night we'd turn off the TV and we'd truly listen to
one another.

9. Make time to listen to a few of my favourite songs one last time:
In My Life, Every Breath You Take, Wild World, Landslide, and
Fields of Gold.

10. And, if I were lucky enough, I'd spend my last precious hours
on this earth with the one I loved. And bang her like there's no tomorrow (which there wouldn't be).

*My last request would be to have my body cremated and have my ashes scattered over the Pacific Ocean.

Most of these aren't anything too elaborate. But I think they're simple things that would make me happy as I finish out my time here.

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