:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Wednesday, March 31, 2004 ::

the difference b/w new yorkers and the rest of the world

The going stereotype of New Yorkers is that they're very cold and unfriendly. If you've ever visited NYC, you've probably noticed that most everyone around you seems to be in a rush to get somewhere. New Yorkers have a quick step in their walk and their eyes are firmly fixated upon the sidewalk. I've always said that you can pick out the tourists from the locals by simply examining what angle the head is tilted at while walking. If it's tilted anywhere above 0 degrees, you're a tourist. You're checking out the tall skyscrapers and giant billboards surrounding you. If your head's tilted anywhere below
0 degrees, you've been living here for a while. To the untrained eye this may all seem cold and obtuse, what with our heads tilted sharply down and rarely slowing down for anyone or anything - including traffic. I can understand how this appears to give validity to the old stereotype that New Yorkers are tough guys. But what those who've never lived in NYC don't understand is the real motivation behind keeing one's head down and one's eyes glued to the sidewalk. I'll let you in on the secret:

we're trying to avoid stepping in giant mounds of dog shit.

Simple as that. You see, they don't call NYC the "concrete jungle" for nothing. There really isn't much grass out here. So what do pets do when they're out for a walk and need to go number one or two? They stop right in front of you and plop out a moist one on the sidewalk. Now the owners are supposed to pick up after their pets, but that's rare. And the absolute worst is when you run into what I like to call, "The Puddle". We're talking doggie diarrhea, folks. I don't know what the fuck New Yorkers are feeding their dogs, but the diarrhea happens waay too much out here. I'm not sure if you can pity an inanimate object, but my thoughts and prayers go out to these sidewalks and their families. It sucks to get shat on.

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