:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Thursday, February 19, 2004 ::

you're a good man, charlie brown

Sitting in class. Waiting for something great to happen.
I'm dreaming my life away. I'll bet most of you didn't know that I
suffer from a debilitating disease. Yes, you heard correctly. I've been
diagnosed with... wanderlust. A sexy word, no doubt, but devastating
nonetheless.

Even the simplest tasks seem impossible to accomplish for those that
suffer from wanderlust. I constantly dream of traveling
to far off places I've never been to, when instead I should be
paying attention to how companies protect their trademarks, washing
the dishes piling up in my kitchen, or studying.

Bo-ring.

Maybe I'm on the wrong career path. Maybe I should have become
a travel guide. Or a pilot! Perhaps even an international FedEx
delivery guy. That way I could travel around the world AND make
money-money, make money-money-MONAY! Perhaps even a singing male strip-o-gram-person for all the world's consulates' wives
stationed in various countries? Wait, I'd have to be good-looking for that. And have a rock-hard body. And be able to dance suggestively with my crotch... while wearing leopard-skin thongs. Nevermind.

Fuck. You would think that by the time one hit twenty-six years of age, one would have a better idea of what career path one would want to go down. Okay, let's stop talking about my cousin, One, and get back to me [Martia, Martia, Martia!]. Instead, I've only managed to weed out careers I don't want to get into, and that took years of trial-and-error.

So, if anyone out there has any suggestions for a washed-up never-has-been lawyer...then please, let me hear it. Here are my skills to help with recommendations:

1. an amatuer popper and locker (essentially a different form of breakdancing)
2. I like to cook.
3. I speak some german, korean, and spanish.
4. I am very confident when it comes to public speaking and sociable when conversing with strangers.
5. I can be very convincing. (Example: 'Dude, send me some money. No, for reals. Send me some money.' You can't teach that. That's all me.)

bonus skill: typing "bonus" entries in every top 5 category I've ever produced on this blog.

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