:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Tuesday, January 20, 2004 ::

oops, i did it again

There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that I was once married to Britney Spears. I hardly even know her. There, that gets our reference-being-beaten-to-death-in-every-late-night-talk-show out of the way. I’m sort of the Jay Leno of self-loathing, and this, friends, is my monologue.

Welcome to eppsc...2004. Days before the actual event, I was worried about how to begin the new year with you, my public. I walked the streets of New York City — for those of you joining us in our new season, that is the backdrop for my suffering — trying to determine what I would tell you and how much it would hurt. Then at the turn of the year, I was convinced that I would approach the new year without any chips on my shoulder. This would translate into blogs of positive note - nothing negative. So I waited for only positive newsworthy things to happen. And waited. Then I realized that reporting only positive things to happen to me would defeat the purpose of this whole experiment (and this site would get updated every leap year). Plus, people don't like to constantly hear about how great life is. It's annoying as hell. No one wants to be made to feel that their life isn't as exciting as so-and-so's, and people shouldn't have to measure up to "joe-happy-guy". This is America. We root for the underdog (except when it comes to any country that doesn't stand behind the Bush Administration and its whacked-out policy of breaking every custom in international law under the pretense of "The War on Terrorism"). And in keeping with this tradition, this will continue to be your warm and cozy hang-out to hear all the dirt on why things and people suck, why some things and some people don't suck as much, and the occasional piece on midgets.

So grab a cup of hot coffee, your favorite blanket, and take a seat in front of that warm monitor. This is 2004, and we're gonna ride this shit 'til the wheels fall off.

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