:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Saturday, January 24, 2004 ::

indifferent

What's wrong with me? It's Saturday and I've been so unproductive. I woke up at one in the afternoon and climbed lazily out of bed to answer the phone. If it weren't for the annoying ring tone waking me up, I would have gone on sleeping. I made my way to 'bux to try to hammer out some more studying, but ever since I signed up for Starbucks' stupid wireless internet service, i've been nothing short of a sloth. Lately it seems as though every weekend is the same. I go to one of 3 different Starbucks (depending on seating availability next to an outlet), stake my claim at some prime real estate next to a window and an electrical outlet, order either a tall coffee (black) or an Americano, plop down, check my fantasy basketball stats, e-mail, blogs and slickdeals.net. Then it's onto pokerroom.com, where I try to rebuild my $60,000 bankroll (play money, of course) that I lost last week. I manage to sneak in a few minutes of studying and I return home half frozen from the walk. Then I partake in the occasional poker get-together in mid-town or Brooklyn, where (with one exception last week) i've been catching cold cards for the past two months. We play no-limit texas hold 'em with a minimum $20 buy-in. I turn down offers to do something socially constructive with normal people to join the rest of my rounder peers for the cheap thrill of winning a few dollars. There's got to be more to life than this.

Don't you ever just get sick of going out and doing the same thing, over and over? For only the 3rd time since i've been back in New York, I decided to go out last night with some friends to one of those asian club parties. And as always, it was pretty lame. It's always the same crowd with everyone dressed in the same boring Banana Republic or Kenneth Cole outfits. No originality whatsoever. I roll in with my Puma kicks, beanie, Carhartt sweatshirt and some pinstripe slacks and you'd think I was the anti-christ forsaking the 11th commandment - "thou shalt only wear Banana Republic in either black or white". I don't know why I bother going to these things. Why can't my ny asian friends be more willing to try different things? Why is it that they're so turned off to the idea of going to a place that's ethnically diverse? a mixed crowd where everyone brings something different to the table.

So I went. And I came home at 3 am. Then I woke up and now there's another party that I've committed to going to. A birthday party. But I really don't want to go. Would that be dicked of me to bail? This person's not even a close friend. I cancelled my plans to have dinner with a friend, too. I just didn't want to wait to go out to eat and I wasn't all that thrilled with leaving the comforts of Starbucks. I also cancelled plans to stay overnight at Hunter's Mountain with another group of friends for a snowboarding trip. When did I become such a homebody? Everything and everyone around me seems so unsatisfying right now. What's weird is that the only interesting people i've been meeting as of late are those online. I live in New York City. The Big Apple. The City That Never Sleeps. Your modern-day Rome. And I just said the only interesting people i've been meeting as of late are those in cyberspace. I'm in a funk.

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