:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Saturday, December 13, 2003 ::

reflections

In an attempt to maintain my heavyweight title as "procrastinator of the year", i decided to go back and re-read some of my past entries from January-March. There was definitely some nostalgia there as I got to relive some of the more outrageous moments during my first year of law school.

[cue the background music for VH1's "Behind The Music"]

In addition to breaking out in the occasional smile, I noticed that I wrote with more passion and insight than I have the past several months. Moreover, as crazy as this seems, I sound more optimistic from January-March. This is even more amazing when you consider that i was completely and utterly miserable during the middle of my first year in law school, as my friends who had to deal with my constant bitching and moaning can attest to. In hindsight, everything that seemed so complicated, hopeless and confusing in life earlier this year now seems like a distant memory, which leads me to wonder:

Why do we as humans put ourselves through such pain and misery over such insignificant things? Animals don't seem to dwell on past events or get depressed. Man, they don't even get riled up when their mates have offspring with another partner. Hell, it's all about bangin' as many mates as possible in the animal kingdom with no hint of remorse. Darwinism at its best you might say. Humans on the other hand bring their partners on Jerry Springer and make a public ordeal of the same situation. Can you imagine penguins running around calling other penguins their "baby-mama" or "baby-dad" and complaining about late child-support payments?

Of course, we're not animals. As people though, when we're going through those "things" they seem magnified 10x to what they really are. In the grande scheme of life, control is almost non-existent and an illusion at best. It's perception that is 90% of what makes reality - as evidenced by my recent reevaluation of past entries and the whole idea behind the cliche "hindsight is 20/20". Broken hearts, final exams, the daily grind of work, money (or lack thereof)... it's all based on los ojos (your eyes).

Perception. Gotta remember that for next time in life, love and the pursuit of a purpose.

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