:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Tuesday, December 30, 2003 ::

budonkadonk christmas

So on Christmas Eve my family is gathered around the dinner table when the conversation turns to my sister's recent weight gain (Asian parents can be so blunt sometimes. Actually, ALL the time). Being the sensitive big brother that I am, I take this opportunity to point out how much fat she's gained around the thighs as my sister suddenly becomes aware that she's wearing shorts. Having just been moded, lil' sis needs to think of a quick comeback, but her comedic timing needs some work as she snaps back 2 minutes later about me having "man-boobs". Of course, I don't have man-boobs and it's clearly a desperate attempt to save face and deflect the attention away from her. I proceeded to explain that I have rock-hard pecks (haha), and to demonstrate, I proceed to rip off my shirt and launch into my best Arnold Schwarzenegger circa Pumping Iron impersonation.

Now bear in mind that by this point I had consumed several glasses of scotch earlier in the day, along with a few Duff beers and multiple glasses of wine with dinner. This is a sure-fire recipe for holiday hijinks if there ever was one. So while i've got my family in stitches with the flexing, I immediately launch into my shake-it-like-a-polaroid-picture dance routine while shaking my ass in a teasing manner. Yes, i am known as the entertainer in my family as i take after my father (when i was five, my grandma would make me do my michael jackson impersonation for all our relatives). So anyway, while i'm shakin' my tail-feather I start to hum that "dung-a-dunga-dung" jingle from that old school hip-hop joint "big booty ho". Then I switch it up to "wobble-gee, wobble-gee... drop it like it's hot". So here's the best part: my mom turns to my dad in all seriousness and proceeds to ask in korean "honey, what eej (fob for "is") 'dung-a-dunga-dung'"? My sister and I then fall to the ground unable to control our laughter for the next 30 minutes. By the end of the night, my mom was washing the dishes and bellowing out random "wobble-gee, wobble-gees". It was another classic Christmas dinner at my house.

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