:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Wednesday, April 23, 2003 ::

frustration

(warning: this blog will lack any sort of structure or coherency)

i've finally become panick-stricken about finals.

while all those around me have been losing their nerves as early as march, i remained cool. why, even just as recently as sunday i was completely calm about finals; being at peace was my mantra. that all changed today. while i was in civil procedure, i dated my notes and realized it was April 22, 2003. APRIL 22?!! i have less than 2 weeks to go before my finals start and i haven't even begun to study for 2 of my 4 finals. it's been all about contracts and property since they're the two classes that are worth the most. on top of that, the application deadline for in-house clinics is tomorrow and i realized i had absolutely no idea what to apply for. none.

to make things worse, i sank into a deeper sense of self-pity after i stepped out of my 4-hour group study session today. amazingly, i just now realized that i've convinced myself that my day is actually broken down into different activities, when in fact it's just a different setting for doing the same shit over and over again - trying to learn the law. here's how the day breaks down:

phase 1 (11 - 4pm): sitting in class to learn about the law
phase 2 (4 - 8pm): sitting in a study room with my group to learn about the law
phase 3 (8 - ?): going home to learn... you guessed it.

somewhere in the middle of all that i manage to eat, pee, poo and sleep. is this what i really want to do for the next 3 years? after a good 20 minutes of stressing out about this whole clinic/final ordeal on the phone with Jess, i realize i got to kick it up a notch and start pulling some all-nighters. but what do i do instead? go out for a pack of smokes.

typical.

ps. i really miss deep-fried zucchini sticks with ranch dressing. and flaming hot cheetos. apparently they don't sell them in the big apple.
oh, and one more thing then...(*tracy morgan voice*) MUST HAVE BBBACK!

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