:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Monday, April 21, 2003 ::

counting blue cars

i just put on some popular singles from the mid to late 90s; 1996 in particular. why that year? because something triggered me to think of my college flame and i guess i decided to listen to some music that came out during our 3 years together. remember Take That? How about Keith Sweat, La Bouche, and Spacehog? i remember that Leanne Rhymes song, "how do i live without you", used to be one of her favourites. Babyface's "every time i close my eyes" used to be one of "our" songs. my how time changes things.

i try not to look back as much anymore, but that first love is so hard to get over (especially when you're the one who gets hurt) as i'm still finding out over four years later. i haven't talked to her since the day we broke up. i've never been able to keep in touch with girls from past serious relationships; not my style i suppose. don't get me wrong - i've dated plenty of people since then, but have yet to fall madly in love with anyone since. sometimes i wonder if we only get one chance in this crazy life. that would definitely suck.

i always wondered what i'd say to her if i saw her on the street. "hi"? "how have you been for the past 4.5 years?" "are you still with him?" would i even be able to muster up enough courage to say anything at all? normally i'm not a shy person, but i think i'd be at a loss for words if it happened. i don't know much about what she's been up to, but the last i heard she was in dental school in boston.

time heals all wounds. but the heart never forgets.

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