:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Saturday, January 25, 2003 ::

a new place

So for the past two nights i went to check out studio apartments in manhattan. The place i checked out thursday was in the LES (lower east side) - a 1bdrm going for $1200. This is considered to be a very good deal in this location, as you can barely find studio apts for that price w/o a broker's fee. Ironically, it was located on Attorney Street; crossing Houston. So i get there with my testicles once again frozen to the side of my leg and i'm not impressed w/ the exterior of the joint, let alone the shifty lookin' neighborhood. But one thing that you gotta get used to out here is that the outside is hardly ever indicative of what's inside. Could be a beautiful apt on the other side of that wall.

It wasn't the case in this instance.

As soon as i walk in, immediately i'm thinkin' your every day episode of law & order - crime scene investigation. They be chalk outlines on the floor, run down paint and stairs that didn't look like they could support an ethiopian with an eating disorder. The joint, i thought, was a straight up crack house. I climb the 5 floors to the apt and it's this guy, Ernesto, that's tryin' to get rid of it within a week b/c he's moving to LA for the weather. Funny. He asks me to wait a second and i'm finally invited in to the welcome of a giant pitt bull enclosed in a not-so-secure cage. Ignoring the possibility that this dog is fond of korean food (poetic justice, i suppose), i look around the joint and it's not wowing me. Although it was a 1bdrm at a "reasonable"(ny standards) price, the bdrm looked dreary and the kitchen looked home to cockroach city. I asked about the other tenants in the building and, as if he read my mind, stated:

"Oh, they're all pretty nice. No drugged up crack-heads or anything."

Wow. This dude was on point. Anyway, i passed on that place and on friday i checked out a couple other places in the east village. It turns out there was a really good deal on a studio w/ a separate kitchen (this makes for more space) on the 3rd floor right in the very heart of the village - for only $1129/month! As luck would have it, i was the first to be shown it and therefore i had dibs. Jess was with me to provide soundly advice and to give me a 2nd opinion on the places we were looking at. Check this though: there were 3 apartments in the same building - 2 w/ the exact same layout, 1 being a bit smaller - and none of them were even close in rent. With the beauty of rent stabilization, the best apartment (the one i'm currently applying for) was the cheapest. Unfortunately, this joint was one that required a broker's fee, which i promised myself i wouldn't ever succomb to. Needless to say, i succombed to it b/c i realized that sooner or later you realize it's almost impossible to avoid it.

They (new york realtors) make you put down a deposit on the spot to hold the place, and when they say on the spot, they mean it. The guy made me go to an atm machine inside some random liqour store and whip out five bills right then and there. We then go outside so he can write me a receipt and i stop a moment to think and realize this all looks like a drug deal's going down. We're on the corner of a major intersection, me w/ a wad of cash, him reaching into his pocket for something and... it just looked bad.

Anyway... it was a big ordeal and i wasn't really expecting this to happen so suddenly, despite having looked for a new place for the past several months. I guess it was a case of buyer's remorse, b/c i immediately began thinking of other possibilities or even waiting for a while longer before delving into this. I still have to wait for the landlord to approve my app and i don't know how that's gonna work w/ me being a student and all. Apparently the standard in ny for most landlords is that if you're not woroking, your guarantor (i.e. parents) must make over 80 times the annual rent. Riiight. Or, if you're employed, you gotta make 30-40 times the rent, which gives students like me a royal screwing. Again, it's depends on the landlord so i'm in the gray area. We'll wait and see what happens on monday.

While i've been racking my brain, wondering if i made the right decision, a sign from above appeared. I came home from a day at the library and as i was waiting for the elevator in my current bldg (remember, i live w/ freshmen in my bldg), the doors slid open and i caught a glimpse of these two black kids hittin' every single button in the elevator as they were coming out. Fuck that. I turned around and started callin' out for this kid, telling him that i was talking to him. He just kept walking away, knowing i had seen what they did, and trying not to acknowledge me. I was really fucking pissed and i told him what i thought. they just kept walking away. Once outside, his skinny ass friend starts gesturing through the window and asking if i was going to fight his friend, while the other kid just kept walkin'. These punk ass kids. I'll admit, i felt the urge to get LAPD on this kid's ass and throw down w/ the skinny one on principle alone. I'm gettin' too old for this shit. I'm beginning to feel very happy about my decision.

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