:: Electric Psychedelic Pussycat Swinger's Club ::

:: Wednesday, January 22, 2003 ::

the gum incident

Saturday night me and my roommate cruised over to tribeca where dinner was waiting for us, compliments of our friend cj. As we were finishing up dinner, cj's friend stopped by and hung out with us over a few glasses of wine.

Some quick back ground info on this girl:

apparently i met her back in August, which was the last time all of us partied together for CJ's birthday. Some time after that night i was informed that cj had a friend who inquired about my status and expressed some interest. I've since hung out with this girl once right before i went back home to Cali. Very sweet girl.

OK that brings us back to present time.

We all decided to go out to some trendy bar. Before we left, though, this girl had some apple-flavored gum she offered to all of us. We arrive at this bar, which had a good mix of people and was definitely packed and hoppin'. After a few drinks, we all start bumpin' to the music on the small dance floor in the middle of the room. We start mixin' it up and at one point this girl and i start mildly freakin', but it caught me off guard.

The subsequent events will forever be etched in my head in slow-motion.

Her sudden bumpin' and grindin' caught me off guard, and for whatever reason, my mouth flung open and just like an espn classic clip in slow-mo, i saw my apple-flavored gum go flying into this girl's hair. I'm freakin' out at this point; complete loss of any coherent thoughts or words. We're going to Defcom Four! DEFCOM FOUR!!

I stood frozen.

Meanwhile this chick is still in front of me backin' that ass up and i'm trying to figure out what i'm going to do. Then it hits me. In one quick brush of the hand, i'm going to knock that piece of gum off the top layer of her hair b/c i wasn't going to risk pulling it off w/ my fingers for fear that she might feel it. Plus, it wasn't stuck in there that bad; just sittin' on the outer layer. Well I must have been wearing bad idea jeans b/c instead of making contact w/ the gum, I brushed more hair on top of it. So it basically looked like a gum sandwich. At this time, i noticed that everyone still has the same piece of gum in their mouths. They had no idea what had happened and were innocently chewing away. Taunting me. Teasing me. Quick on my toes, i pretended i still had gum in my mouth by, sadly enough, chewing on the side of my mouth. This would buy me some time, i thought. But i just couldn't do it. I couldn't bring myself to tell her what had happened b/c i was simply too embarassed.

But it gets worse.

Apparently all the dancing gets one hot and sweaty. And when girls with long hair get hot... girls with long hair put their hair up in a bun. It went from bad to worse in a new york minute. That shit was all mangled up in there now! But
i didn't say a word. I couldn't say a word. This one was going with me to the grave (w/ the exception of me posting it here for the rest of the world to see and for my readers' viewing pleasure).

To top it off, i discovered a pack of gum in my coat and i slyly popped a piece in my mouth to pass it off as the original piece. I made sure that she saw me chewing on that gum - and boy did i chew. Obnoxiously, i chewed my little heart out up until the very end of the night when she got into a cab to go home. I made sure the world knew that DAVE STILL HAD GUM. Since then i've told this story to just a couple of my closest friends and it was hard to fight off the laughter. This will be a story for the ages.

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